Suffering...

Yesterday was a hard one for me. Well, technically, the witching hour was yesterday afternoon from 3 pm until 6 pm.

In my mind, I gave up this new diet about 10 times. Thankfully I didn't act on my desires.

I am praying for my mindset to change.

But I am suffering.

I have developed soooo many indulgent habits this summer, which is why I'm 8 pounds heavier than when school ended. Bowls of ice cream before bed, glasses of red wine at night, sleeping in and skipping exercise, eating out all of the time, popcorn and candy at the movies. It's truly psychotic when I actually think about it.

But because of how much I enjoyed these indulgent habits, there is a HUGE part of me that I'm fighting with right now. And it comes down to the fact that I'm feeling resentful and deprived when I have to give something up.

Which is why I reeeaaalllyy need a change in my mindset. I've talked this over with Eric...I WANT to WANT to be a healthy eater. I WANT to WANT to choose healthy, whole foods over sweet, emotionally satisfying foods.

Susan: Hi. My name is Susan, and I'm a carb addict. I've been clean and sober for two days now.
Fellow carb addicts' response: Hi Susan. Keep coming back. It works if you work it.
(Haha...please excuse my 12-step meeting reference.)

One day at a time...