Tuesday: Cycle 1, Day 2

"Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing."
– George Sheehan

Down 2 pounds today! (I'm just too curious to wait the entire 17 days before a weigh-in haha)

Yesterday went well for us! Onward and upward!

For Buffy...

Here I go! 2nd full-on attempt at the 17 day diet. This time my sister wife is doing it with me, so I am so pumped for success!

As I type this, it is my first day "back to school" (or at least my first day acting like I'm going back to school) and I got up at 4 am. Tough. But necessary. I have a half marathon to train for and let's just say, I haven't been on my treadmill since...hmmmmm....June?

Plus, I need to exercise for this diet to work!

I am up 3 pounds from my initial 17DD weigh-in. Yes, folks! Starting this round at 177 pounds. I don't think I''m going to weigh-in every day like last time. I'm going to do 17 days and then see how much I lose. I numbered the calendar from 17 down to 1, so our first cycle ends in September. This is going to be a successful attempt.

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

Dream Analysis

Last night, a giant badger appeared in my dream.

According to a dream analysis website, to see a badger in your dream, signifies your persistence and final victory over your opponents.

Hmmmm.....

Thought for the day...

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
– Carl Jung

Friday

Weight 168.8

Thursday: Cycle 1, Day 13

169 lbs.

I tried a new site today...Fitday.com. To lose 1.83 pounds a week, I need to eat 1525 calories per day (913 calories deficit per day.) By this equation, I will weigh 163 pounds by Aug. 13. I'm not sure I love this site yet. I think I like My Fitness Pal better. Or Spark People. not sure which one I prefer. They all take a lot of work. ugh. I'm hoping that my lower carb approach will get me results more quickly, but we all see how that's working out for me! I'm still only down 5 pounds.

I want to be as close to 160 lbs. by the time we go to the ocean on Aug. 13. This is going to require a LOT of exercise, something I haven't done in over a week. :(

Wednesday: Cycle 1: Day 12

168.8 pounds

Yesterday was a great one for me! I fell right back into 17 Day Diet eating habits, and definitely felt skinnier this morning when I woke up! Turns out, i did lose some weight since yesterday! :)

Today so far has been wonderful! I took Willie to the movies and ate red grapes, carrots, and water. Came home to make lunch with grilled chicken, sweet peppers, onions, and turkey bacon. I cannot begin to describe how delicious this combination tastes. Today I thought, "If I owned a restaurant, this would be on the menu!" haha

Tonight I have a tupperware party at Buff's house, and I'm so excited to see her and get away from this afternoon of grad work that looms ahead of me.

Tuesday: Cycle 1 Day 11

170 lbs.

Picking up where I left off! Let's see how easily I can get back into good habits!

Advice from The Biggest Loser's Nutritionist

I believe that this weight loss plan works -- and it's based on an ambitious exercise regimen and the following basic recommendations:

1. Learn your body's calorie needs -- you must burn off more calories than you are taking in.
2. Don't skip meals; you must develop a regular eating schedule of three meals and two or three snacks per day.
3. Eat plenty fruit and vegetables.
4. Eat plenty of lean protein.
5. Eliminate the white stuff.
6. Choose whole grains.
7. Plan everything ahead: your meals, your snacks and your exercise. As Jillian Michaels once said, "If you don't plan ahead, you plan to fail."
8. EAT (don't drink) your calories, with the exception of milk.
9. Include exercise as part of your weight loss plan.
10. Prioritize your health and well-being. If you don't have your health, you can't take care of your loved ones.

And even on the show, it's not just the biggest losers who win.

If your calorie allowance is 2,000 per day, divide 2,000 by four -- 500 calories.
That means:
Breakfast = 500 calories
Lunch = 500 calories
Dinner = 500 calories
Two snacks = 500 calories (meaning 250 calories per snack)

You can choose to have your two 250-calorie snacks in the morning, afternoon or evening -- whatever works best for your schedule and energy levels.

So...for my current weight, I need to consume about 1600 calories per day to lose 2 pounds per week by August 13. That would take me to a weight of 160 pounds (only 10 pounds from my goal weight.)

400 calories per three meals plus 200 calories for two snacks each.

Monday

169 pounds 1.6 lb gain since Saturday.

Considering that I did not watch what I ate yesterday. Or Saturday for that matter. Or Friday. I'm happy with only a 1.6 lb gain.

Sunday

168.4 pounds

Yesterday, I found an AMAZING website discussing The Fullness Factor (satiety indicator) to help with food choices. I'm going to explore it a bit more, but I was very much in agreement with many of the ideas presented in the background. I came across this website while searching low glycemic index information.

during my day trip to Washington, D.C., I would say that I mostly stuck to foods on the 17 Day Diet, but I also ate foods that were not on the 17 Day Diet. I didn't overindulge, I was a conscious eater, and I didn't crash.

Things that I ate:
9 am: 7 oz. greek plain yogurt with 1/2 serving of blueberries, 2 tbsp. low sugar
strawberry preserves, 1 packet purevia, 1 tbsp. flax, green tea
1 pm: grilled chicken salad with balsamic/olive oil dressing, 20 oz. water
3 pm: shared a few bites of my mom's chocolate chip cookie
4 pm: 1 pack peanut m&ms and water
7 pm: 2 packs whole grain club crackers
salad with peppercorn parm on side
2 slices bread and butter
1 broiled crabcake
steamed vegetables
a few bites of roasted red potato
1/2 turtle cheesecake (I didn't like the taste of it, so I stopped myself)
water
coffee with cream and splenda

So...not eating enough during the day definitely had an impact on indulging during dinner.

Today I am off to Dutch Wonderland. I'm going to pack some healthy snacks in a backpack and drink plenty of water. There will be lots of walking today too, which is a bonus.

This week, I will be sitting a lot doing grad work, so I plan to exercise every morning. Possibly I will swim at the Y in the evenings too, just to add some activity to my days.

Saturday

167.4 pounds Lost 2 pounds from yesterday. I'm within 3 pounds of my goal weight for Thursday.

Yesterday at the movies, I gave into a psychological temptation and ate peanut M&Ms. And they were goooooood. (I chose peanut M&Ms because they have a lower glycemic index so I knew my blood sugar wouldn't spike. I guess that because of having peanuts balances out the sugar.)

I don't regret it at all. And for some reason, as I have in the past, I'm not going off the diet gangbusters like I typically do. I have every intention of following the 17 Day Diet through until Thursday. I've developed too many good habits over the last 10 days and seen too many positive results to give that up now!

Last night, I ate a Nature's Promise burger with cheese, onions, ketchup, and mustard on a white roll for dinner. Nothing else. No sides. It was filling and good. I could have substituted the white roll for a wheat roll (I have one in the freezer), but honestly I forgot to do that.

So as you can see, I ate things that were not on the 17 Day diet and I lost 2 pounds.

I'm completely confounded right now. But I'll take it!

Friday

Weight: 168.4

So glad to see the number going down again, especially after not giving into temptations at the restaurant and movies last night. I typically pig out (aka overindulge) during movies, so having nothing to munch on was a big thing for me.

Well, I'm in the home stretch. I'd love to see 163 pounds by Thursday...that would be 5 more pounds lost. Then I can move onto Cycle 2, which I haven't read up on entirely, but rumor has it that I go back and forth between carb/no carb days or high/low calorie days. I'll check into that today.

Last night...I considered ordering wine. I considered getting peanut M&Ms. Those were my two fantasy indulgences. In the end, I didn't act and the moment passed.

Remember...I WANT to Want to eat healthier. Though this is not the kind of food that I enjoy per se, that doesn't really matter, because the kind of food that I enjoy is unhealthy. Very unhealthy. So it's not surprising that this journey isn't that much fun.

Although, I must admit that the lunch I made yesterday was to die for! Sometimes I surprise even myself! Grilled chicken in greek vinagrette with grilled onion, sweet peppers, and bacon. Wow. Wow. Wow. So delicious and tasty! And I love my new breakfast choice (plain greek yogurt and fruit)!

One day at a time.

Eat Clean Diet Principles

1. Eat more! Eat six small meals each day, spaced at 2 1/2 to 3-hour intervals.
*Six meals at regularly spaced intervals
*Smaller portion sizes
*Turns body into a calorie burning, fat-blasting machine
*Every meal is an event that fuels your metabolism and pushes you forward on the
path to your best health.
*Every meal is an opportunity to do something good for yourself both health-
and weight-wise.

2. Eat breakfast everyday, within an your of rising.
* As soon as you take your first bite of healthy breakfast, your body awakens and your metabolism starts making use of the energy it gets from food.
* Make the most of your morning workout by eating 30 minutes before you go and your second mini meal when you return. After a night of fasting, you will have a weaker workout if you don't provide fuel for your body.

3. Make your last meal three hours before bed.
* Learn to recognize true hunger: a growling stomach, irritability, inability to concentrate.
* Do your best to distinguish between real physical hunger and emotional hunger.
* Drink a tall glass of water before reaching for food. Thirst can be mistaken for hunger!
* Dinner is ususally the biggest meal of the day in North America, but it doesn't make sense to fill yourself up with energy that you won't have time to burn off after dinner.
Sidebar: I'm a little confused...this rule is to make your last meal three hours before bed, but then Tosca says she has her evening/sixth meal between 9 and 10 pm. Does this mean she doesn't go to bed until 1 am??

4. Eat a combination of lean protein and complex carbohydrates at each meal.
* When you choose high-grade foods as your fuel of preference (instead of high-fat, sugar-laden "anti" foods) you are rewarded with increased energy levels and a sense that you are doing right by your body.
* A combination of lean protein and complex carbohydrates at each meal will slow down the carb-to-fat conversion in your body, keeping you satiated between meals.

PROTEIN- the lean bodybuilding food, 5 to 6 servings of protein each day (one with each meal), primarily found in meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, vegetable, and grain sources

Allowable Protein Sources: egg whites, lean turkey, chicken and pork, beans and legumes (in moderation), lean fish, shrimp, clams, mussels, bison and other game meats, hummus (also a healthy fat), quinoa, spirulina, sea vegetables, protein powder, tofu, and tempeh.

Complex Carbohydrates-
Simple-white flour and sugar (known as sugars), break down easily, send blood-sugar levels out of control. AVOID SIMPLE CARBS except fruit!
Fruit contains fiber, which slows its digestion; fruit also contains vital nutrients and minerals.
Complex-high in fiber, improve digestion, provide energy, keeps you satiated between meals, stabilized blood-sugar levels. Vegetables, fruits, and whole grains are all complex carbs.

Starchy Complex carbs (2 servings per day): sweet potatoes, potatoes, radishes, beans and legumes (also a protein), oats, brown rice, bananas, carrots, parsnips, bulgar wheat, teff, and farro.

High-water Complex carbs (5-6 servings per day): apples, plums, berries, pears, tomatoes, cucumber, broccoli, asparagus, beets, leeks, dark leafy greens, brussels sprouts, grreen beans, onions, sprouts, celery, watermelon, cherries, zucchini, fennel, oranges, limes, lemons, and garlic.

5. Eat sufficient healthy fats every day.
* Consuming only low-fat or fat-free products does not solve anyone's fat problem.
* Omega-3 and Omega-6 fats keep cells in a fat-burning or thermogenic state

Allowable fats include: flaxseed, nuts (almonds, walnuts), pumpkin seeds (in moderation), nut butters, hummus (also a protein), avocados, oils (flaxseed, coconut, olive, hazelnut, walnut, and fish).

6. Drink 2 to 3 liters of water every day.
* Water is second only to oxygen in the level of importance it has to the body.
* Roughly 75% of your body is water, the bulk of which is stored in the largest organ, your skin!
* Water regulates body temperature, keeps joints mobile, maintains tissue health...you need water to survive.
* Your metabolic rate increases by 30% when you drink cold water.
* Drink water to prevent thirst.
* Signs of dehydration: irritability, headache, tiredness, hunger
* Drink 2 cups of water with every meal. Staying hydrated reduces food cravings and suppresses appetite.

7. Carry a cooler packed with clean foods everyday.
* You can never be sure about how food is prepared unless you take your own with you!
* Be prepared! If you work a 9 to 5 job, you'll eat your first clean meal at home and your next three meals out of the house! If you are prepared, you will be less likely to reach for an unhealthy choice.
* Make extra food with each meal so that you can easily tote leftovers in your cooler for the next day.

8. Depend on fresh fruits and vegetables for fiber, vitamins, nutrients, and enzymes.
* Allowable vegetables include: sweet and regular potatoes, radishes, carrots, parsnips, cucumber, broccoli, asparagus, beets, leeks, leafy greens, Brussel sprouts, green beans, onions, sprouts, celery, zucchini, fennel, and garlic.
* Allowable fruits include: bananas, apples, plums, berries, watermelon, cherries, oranges, tomatoes, limes, and lemons.

9. Adhere to proper portion sizes.
* Use the palm of your hands to determine the proper amount of food for your body.
*Protein- measured by what fits in the palm of one hand
*Starch Complex Carbohydrates-measured by what fits into one cupped hand
*Carbs from Fruits and Vegetables- measured by what fits into two hands cupped together
*Healthy fats-measured by one scant handful of nuts or one to two tablespoons of healthy oil or nut butter

10. Eat only foods that have not been overly processed or doused in chemicals, saturated and trans fats, and/or toxins.
*Real foods are those found in nature, often have one ingredient, not altered in any way, nothing is added to make them taste better
*Anti foods-foods that have been altered or overly processed, contain added sugars, trans fats, or made with processed white grains and flours, cause insulin spikes, slows metabolism,
* It is common to feel hungry after eating "anti" foods because they don't contain enough nutrients to make your body feel satiated!
*The fewer ingredients on the label, the better. Foods with one ingredient are your top choice. If a food contains ingredients you can't pronounce, leave it on the shelf.

Thursday, Cycle 1, Day 10

Weight 169.4

Yesterday was a struggle. I was back to giving up on this diet and and giving into psychological cravings. U. G. H. I didn't. But I wanted to. I guess the most important thing is that I didn't.

Man, this constant struggle with food has a strong power over me. It runs deep.

Don't I want it to stop??

Can I stick with this for 7 more days?

I waver between perseverance and giving up the fight.

At 6 o'clock this morning, I was ready to switch to the Eat Clean Diet Stripped by Tosca Reno. (It has the same basic principles, it just allows whole grains, which of course means I can bake some comfort food. Thankfully, I know Buff can relate.)

As of right now at 9 o'clock, after writing a review of Tosca's Eat Clean Diet Stripped, I'm not quite ready to give up. 7 more days.

The truth is, my cravings are gone.
My hunger is gone.
I feel smaller and lighter.
I am eating healthier.
And aren't all of these things what I want when I am overweight?
Aren't all of these things what people long for when they feel out of control with eating?

Yes.

Yes, I have only lost 5 pounds in one week. But I have lost 5 pounds! Some people would kill to lose 5 pounds.

Maybe I should stop taking these positive changes for granted for the sake of an indulgent choice that will provide pleasure for 5 minutes and regret for longer.

Ok. Pity party over for now.

I just read this article posted by a friend on Facebook and I do believe it to be true:

When Fatty Feasts are Driven by Automatic Pilot

Wednesday, Cycle 1, Day 9

Weight 170.6 Gained 1.6 pounds. Don't ask. I have no idea. Maybe I should stop getting on the scale every day...I've been feeling discouraged ever since the scale stopped going down. Yesterday, fantasies of carbs started seeping back in. I got through them, but they were back.


I could cut out the cream in my coffee...but coffee is getting me through this.
I could cut out the peanuts.
I could get back on a regular schedule with eating.
I could drink green tea with every meal.

We'll see how tomorrow goes on the scale. I'm in a workshop all day today, so it will help me with getting all of my water and tea.

Tuesday: Cycle 1, Day 8

Weight 169 lb. So officially, I began this journey last Tuesday. In one week, I lost 5 pounds.

5 am 8 oz. lemon water

6 am Weight training 32 oz. water

7 am 8 oz. Chiobani yogurt, 1 packet purevia, 1/2 serving blueberries, 1 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 1 tbsp. flax

10 am peanuts, red grapes, carrot sticks, 20 oz. water at the free movie.

12 pm Swimming lesson with Miss Micelle

1:00 pm grilled chicken salad

2:20 pm Allergy/Asthma appointment in York, PA

3:30 pm peanuts

4:30 pm decaf coffee with purevia and 1 tbsp. half/half

6 pm chicken, green beans, 2 deviled eggs

8 pm decaf coffee with purevia and 1 tbsp. half/half

Monday: Cycle 1, Day 7

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
– Aristotle

168.8 lbs. No weight gained or lost

4:30 am 8 oz. lemon water

5 am coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half and half

5:30-6:00 am Swimming

7:00 am 8 oz. chiobani plain greek yogurt, 2 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 4 oz. blueberries, 1 packet purevia, 1 tbsp. flax, green tea

10 am egg whites and two deviled eggs (eggs, mayo, mustard, vinegar)

12 pm grilled chicken salad (grilled chicken, lettuce, sweet peppers, grilled onions, tomatoes, green peppers, Newman's Own Caesar dressing, 20 oz. water, green tea

TMI alert: Boy! I was upstairs making Willie's bed when all of the sudden, my insides felt like they were going to explode! for the next hour or so, I had horrible diarhhea. It really cleaned me out!

1:45 pm red grapes

3-3:30 pm I was so tired, I took a cat nap on the couch.

3:30 pm coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half

5:30 pm I was afraid to eat dinner after my bathroom issues this afternoon, so I didn't eat anything of substance. I ate one individual container of liveactive cottage cheese and 1 whole (deviled) egg

7 pm 2 cups decaf coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half each

8 pm Hungry...I just went for the eggs again, bc I certainly didn't feel like having vegetables or chicken at bedtime, so I opted for 2 whole deviled eggs

Sunday: Cycle 1, Day 6

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."
– Benjamin Disraeli

Weight 168.8 (Lost another LB!)

6 am 8 oz. lemon water

6:30 am 2 cups coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp half/half each

7 am Treadmill 15 min@ 3.5 mph, 20 min. @ 5.0 mph (Interval workout with longer period of easy running)

8:00 am 8 oz. chiobani plain greek yogurt, 2 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 6 oz. strawberries (needed to finish them up), 1 packet purevia, 2 tbsp. flax (needed to finish it up)

(TMI alert...My time (of the month) arrived yesterday. Usually comes on a Tuesday but not sure if it was supposed to be last Tues or next Tues...I'll be interested to see how it compares to previous cycles when I'm not practicing controlled eating. So far I had NO cramps and no acne flare-ups last week. My mood has been more stable. I've been more patient. I did however have major "chest" tenderness and water retention leading up to the beginning of my diet and that lasted all week.)

12:15 pm couple handfuls of peanuts to tide me over while we finished grocery shopping at giant

1:30 pm salad (lettuce, sweet peppers, tomatoes, balsamic vinaigrette, 20 oz. water) shrimp salad

3 pm Cleaned up flower beds and mowed grass...Sweaty, tired, thirsty, done! Chugged lots of water.

4:30 pm 2 cups coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half each

7 pm taco salad (taco meat, lettuce, shredded cheese, chiobani plain yogurt as substitute for sour cream), 20 oz. water I couldn't finish it. I wasn't even hungry, but knew I had to eat. it was ok...I didn't put any dressing on it...just mixed in the yogurt.

8 pm 1 cup coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half each

Saturday: Cycle 1, Day 5

"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight." – Helen Keller

169.8 pounds It's been 5 days and I've lost 4.2 pounds so far. *Happy Dance*

I am happy to announce that I'm totally over my suffering phase. Going to mom and dad's for her birthday party tonight, which may prove challenging. I've already prepped my parents that I'm not going to eat any BBQ ribs from Corner Stable in Timonium, just a salad and water. I know that if I indulge, I will have to go through my suffering phase again, and it's just not worth it to me on Day 5!

6 am 8 oz. lemon water

6:30 am coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half and half

8-8:35 am Treadmill Interval workout 15 min @ 3.5 mph, 20 min @ 5.5 mph
2.710 miles, HRM = 374 calories burned, 64.8 carbs burned
20 oz. water

I Feel Great!! Sweating profusely but able to push myself to go further! Woot!


9:00 am Like my friend Buff, I want to make smoothies but I never have! So here's my first attempt at a homemade smoothie! 8 oz. chiobani plain greek yogurt, 1 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 4 oz. strawberries, 1 packet purevia, 1 tbsp. flax, and ice made in my new MAGIC BULLET!! YAY!

1:30 pm Dry Roasted Peanuts (I didn't plan my outing well and I wouldn't say I was hungry at all, but I could feel that I had gone too long without eating. so I bought a jar of peanuts before I left the store and snacked on a handful or two on the drive home. Then my fruit alarm went off as I headed home, so I knew I had to get my fruit with the next half hour.)

2 pm Since I skipped my morning snack, I decided to have another smoothie for lunch. I needed another pro biotic food and serving of fruit. (I was going to get another grilled chicken salad from Amores, but decided that I'd just push it off until tomorrow's lunch after church.

So I made a blueberry/pear smoothie with 8 oz. Chiobani plain yogurt, 1 packet Stevia, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/2 pear, and ice

5:00 pm steamed shrimp salad, shrimp salad, capful of Olive Garden italian dressing, 2 pieces rib meat (very lightly bbqed), water
I felt completely satisfied and full! I easily skipped the homemade potato salad, breadsticks, appetizers, sandwiches, etc. Didn't even give them a second thought! No sweat!

7 pm Cake time...my sister made a homemade, from scratch chocolate cake with homemade icing and chocolate chip cake bars. Both looked delectable. Incredible. I took small serving of my fruit salad and 1/2 piece of cake....

I only ate the fruit salad! It was a little hard to resist, but it was almost like I feared taking one bite of it. Now, on this 17 Day diet, I'm not supposed to have fruit after 2 pm, so I did allow myself an indulgence of having fruit at 7 pm, but I didn't experience a sugar crash or a need to have a second helping. So yay!

9 pm 2 cups decaf coffee with 1 packet stevia and 1 tbsp organic half/half each

Onward and upward!

Yesterday was easier...

Friday: Cycle 1, Day 4

171 pounds (I actually feel skinnier today and was surprised to only have a .4 loss on the scale.)

4:30 am 8 oz. lemon water

5 am coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half and half

5:30-6:30 am Weight training at YMCA 32 oz. water, according to my HRM only 202 calories burned, but I know that muscle building will help with toning and fat burning in the long run.

Ok...I've had lemon water and 1 cup of coffee this morning. Then I worked out for an hour on the weights. I have no appetite. No cravings. I am eating my yogurt combo for breakfast bc I need to eat for nutrition, but seriously...no carb cravings. At. All.

7:00 am 8 oz. chiobani plain greek yogurt, 2 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 4 oz. strawberries, 1 packet purevia, 1 tbsp. flax

(TMI alert...but I'm posting anyway. So you know on the days when you eat a lot of carbs and the next morning you, uh, have a lot of waste to get rid of? Well, I am eating significantly less carbs and I am still going a lot in the morning. It makes me wonder if this is all junk that has been backed up in my colon.This is supposed to be a cleansing/accelerating cycle of the 17 Day Diet, so I'll be interested to see how much longer this lasts. Typically on a lower carb diet, a side effect is constipation. That's certainly not been the case for me so far.)

10 am individual container of breakstone cottage cheese

12 pm grilled chicken salad (grilled chicken, lettuce, sweet peppers, grilled onions, balsamic vinegrette, 20 oz. water

2 pm kiwi

3:30 pm coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half

5:30 pm peanuts grilled chicken caesar salad at Texas Roadhouse (no croutons), water

7 pm 2 cups decaf coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half

Suffering...

Yesterday was a hard one for me. Well, technically, the witching hour was yesterday afternoon from 3 pm until 6 pm.

In my mind, I gave up this new diet about 10 times. Thankfully I didn't act on my desires.

I am praying for my mindset to change.

But I am suffering.

I have developed soooo many indulgent habits this summer, which is why I'm 8 pounds heavier than when school ended. Bowls of ice cream before bed, glasses of red wine at night, sleeping in and skipping exercise, eating out all of the time, popcorn and candy at the movies. It's truly psychotic when I actually think about it.

But because of how much I enjoyed these indulgent habits, there is a HUGE part of me that I'm fighting with right now. And it comes down to the fact that I'm feeling resentful and deprived when I have to give something up.

Which is why I reeeaaalllyy need a change in my mindset. I've talked this over with Eric...I WANT to WANT to be a healthy eater. I WANT to WANT to choose healthy, whole foods over sweet, emotionally satisfying foods.

Susan: Hi. My name is Susan, and I'm a carb addict. I've been clean and sober for two days now.
Fellow carb addicts' response: Hi Susan. Keep coming back. It works if you work it.
(Haha...please excuse my 12-step meeting reference.)

One day at a time...

Discipline is remembering what you want. ~ Unknown

Thursday: Cycle 1, Day 3

171.4 pounds

4 am lemon water

5 am coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half and half

5:30 am 34 minutes on treadmill 14 min. @ 3.5 mph, 10 min @ 5.0 mph, 10 min. @ 6.0 mph (34 minutes, 2.653 miles, 397 calories, 64.8 carbs)
this was a hard workout for me...but I feel GREAT that I finished it and pushed myself. My heart rate continues to be elevated even after I am finished. WooT!

6:00 am 8 oz. chiobani plain greek yogurt, 1 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 4 oz. strawberries, 1 packet purevia, 1 tbsp. flax

10 am individual container of breakstone cottage cheese, 10 carrot sticks

12 pm veggie salad (spinach, lettuce, sweet peppers, cucumber, onion, tomato) olive oil and vinegar, 8 oz. red grapes (With my friend, Buff, in mind, I skipped the pseudo chicken and asked for extra sweet peppers! Delishhhhhhhhh)

2 pm mixed nuts...and just a few!

4:30 pm decaf coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half

6 pm grilled chicken in greek vinegrette on salad (So yummy. I just reheated the marinated chicken from last night and threw it on top of a salad of mixed greens, spinach, cucs, green peppers, and red onions. I dressed my salad with some of the leftover marinade. Soooo good.)

7 pm 1 cup decaf coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half (Honestly...the coffee is getting me through this diet. It takes away psychological cravings. I'm not having any hunger cravings on this 17 Day Diet...only psychological cravings.)

Wednesday: Cycle 1, day 2

172.2 pounds

4:15 am lemon water

5 am coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half and half

5:30 am 20 minutes of leg toning exercises on floor (side leg lifts, inner thigh lifts, butt lifts, sit ups)

7:00 am 8 oz. chiobani plain greek yogurt, 2 tbsp. strawberry preserves, 4 oz. fresh strawberries, 1 packet purevia, 1 tbsp. flax (Yum!!! and this took me forever to eat so it was very filling!)

10 am individual container of Breakstone livactive cottage cheese, 10 carrot sticks

12 pm grilled chicken salad from Subway (spinach, lettuce, sweet peppers, cucumber, onion, tomato, chicken) olive oil and vinegar, 8 oz. red grapes (Very delicious except for the chicken...it wasn't really chicken and I should forgo it next time. My friend Buff would have puked. Oh, and I love, love, love sweet peppers. Finally figured out (thanks to my friend Becky) where to get them in the supermarket.)

2 pm mixed nuts (Nuts are certainly not allowed on the 17 day diet I'm sure, but they are natural, low carb, and get me through the day.

5 pm more mixed nuts, sugar free jello
(Same goes for jello..not a part of the 17 day diet, not natural but a touch of sweetness helps me to manage this diet. It was allowed on Atkins when I tried that, so some of what I'm allowing myself to eat comes from my Atkins low carb days.)

6 pm grilled chicken in greek vinegrette, steamed vegetables (Yummo to the chicken! Nature's promise chicken from Giant cooked in 1 bottle of Newman's Own Greek Vinegrette. Delish!)

7 pm 2 cups decaf coffee with 1 packet purevia and 1 tbsp. organic half/half each (Again, cream is not allowed on 17 day diet, but...I'm allowing myself to have it. 1 carb per tablespoon.

17 Day Diet Trial

Tuesday: Cycle One, Day One

Starting weight 174 pounds

4:15 am 8 oz. water with 1/2 lemon

5 am 8 oz. coffee, 1 tsp. sun crystals, 1 tbsp. half and half

5:30 am 30 minutes swim

7:00 am 2 scrambled eggs, red pear, green tea

10:00 am Breakstone Cottage cheese, green tea

12 pm Grilled chicken on greens, red grapes, mixed nuts

3 pm mixed nuts, lime jello

6 pm 4 oz. chicken, steamed broccoli, red peppers, cauliflower

8 pm 12 oz. decaf coffee with 2 packets Purevia and 2 tbsp. coffee

The 17 Day Diet

17 Day Diet:
1. This won't be a pleasure diet. You've got to stop eating unhealthy crap. You've got to eat vegetables, fruit and lean meat.
2. Keep your portions down, cut your intake of fatty, sugary, salty foods, and move your butt.
3. Anyone can do anything for 17 days.
4. Excess weight is always a sign of nutritional and metabolic imbalance. It's not strictly a question of what types of foods are eaten, and how they are digested, assimilated and metabolized.. If any of these components of good nutrition are compromised, then the body will not be adequately nourished at the cellular level, metabolic function will be impaired and toxins will accumulate.
5. Tubs of ice cream and bags full of chips are not worth shortening your life over. We're already in so much trouble with trans fats, cheap sugars, excess sodium, and unpronounceable additives jazzing up junk food.
6. So if you find yourself saying, "I didn't have time to prepare healthy food," let me ask you this: would you have found time if your life depended on it? Well, it does.
7. You need to eat vegetables if you want to get thin. Vegetables=thin. No vegetables=flabby
8. Having too much fruit can sabotage your diet (pineapple, watermelon, bananas)
9. You can go overboard on carbs, even the good kind, and this can be devastating to your natural metabolic process.

Cycle 1: Accelerate: to promote rapid weight loss by improving digestive health. It helps clear sugar from the blood by boosting fat-burning and discourage fat storage.

Eat unlimited protein. (salmon, tilapia, light tuna, chicken, turkey, ground turkey, eggs (2 egg=1 serving) (4 egg whites=1 serving)
Eat unlimited vegetables. (celery, cucumbers, green beans, green leafy vegetables, mushrooms, onions, spinach, tomatoes, watercress)
Eat up to 2 whole eggs a day. Unlimited egg whites, No more than 4 yolks a week
Eat 2 servings/day of fruit (berries, apples, oranges, peaches, pears, plums, red grapes)No fruit after 2 pm.
Take 3 grams of fish oil supplements daily.
Drink 8 8-oz. glasses of water daily.
Drink 3 cups of green tea a day. (negative water)
No white bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, chocolate, biscuits, sugary desserts, and sweets.
Drink 1-2 cups of coffee a day. (negative water)
No alcohol and sugar
2 servings of Probiotics daily (greek yogurt, kefir, low fat acidophilus milk, Liveactive cottage cheese
1 to 2 tablespoons of healthy fats (olive oil, flaxseed oil)
Exercise at least 17 minutes per day.

Cycle 2: Activate: To reset your metabolism through a strategy that involves increasing and decreasing your caloric consumption to stimulate fat-burning and to help prevent plateaus.

Cycle 3: Achieve: To develop good eating habits through the re-introduction of additional foods and move you closer to your goal weight.

Cycle 4: Arrive (ongoing: To keep you at your goal weight through a program of eating that lets you enjoy your favorite foods on weekends, while eating healthfully during the week.

The 17 Day Diet is based upon lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, and small amounts of grains.

Inspiration Desperately Needed...

and here's what came to me today.

The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.

– Orison Swett Marden

The Biggest Loser

I've been spending the past couple of days watching the latest season of The Biggest Loser, and I must admit, I LOVE the contestants! So far there are only two who have gotten on my nerves...ok 3 (Dan, Don, and Arthur) but I just love the personalities and commitment of soooo many others! I've watched 4 episodes so far and will catch up on more today.

One of the best scenes (that really hit home for me) involved Jennifer from the green team talking with Jillian about how her weight loss journey had been so closely tied to her father. Jillian asked her, "How would it feel if you lost all of your weight and your father didn't." Jennifer said, "I would feel like I let him down!" Jillian pointed right in her face and and stated, "And THAT'S why you're not losing weight." Tears come to my eyes as I'm typing this now, because I can completely relate. I DO believe that my weight struggles are closely connected with my father.

My father is obese. My father has struggled with weight for most of his life, particularly in the last decade. Many of my bad eating habits were learned from my father. Finding comfort and enjoyment from food was learned from my father.

Even when I lose weight, my father will see me eating a dessert and say things to me like, "Oooooo, You're just like me! You can't resist. You've got the Burkhouse gene in you." Or if he sees me making good choices, he'll say things like "C'mon, Sue. You've gotta eat more than that!"

When he says these things to me, it reaffirms my beliefs about myself and it goes right to my heart. I FEEL COMPLETELY BAD ABOUT MYSELF.

He would NEVER say something like this to my sister or brother. Aside from never having struggled with weight, my brother wouldn't care and my sister would put him in his place. (I love her for that.) I am the one he identifies with in this particular area. He's always found a "friend" in me for being the one who will have dessert with him.

Just the other week, Willie and I spent some time with my mom and dad. Our time together lapsed into lunchtime. Now, Dad is having a lot of health problems and desperately needs to lose weight. But the only one who's desperate about it is my mother. So Mom and Dad were suggesting a lot of restaurants in the area where I did NOT want to eat. I had been on a really good path and was at my lowest weight in a long time (164 pounds). So I suggested that we stop and pick up some turkey so we could go back to their house to make sandwiches.

The entire drive to the store and the entire time in the store, my father is talking to me about all of these foods he's been eating and how good they taste. (And these are things that he should NOT be eating.) I was getting so pissed off, because I felt again like the "friend" with whom he was sharing all of his food secrets. I am the one whom he knows can relate to this kind of pleasure. But I didn't say anything to him, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel alone. Classic Sue.

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following public service announcement:

Definition of an Enabler (i.e. Me): An enabler in most definitions is a person who through his or her actions allows someone else to continue destructive behavior. Though the enabler may be acting out of love and trying to help or protect a person, he or she is actually making a chronic problem worse.

So back to more of my enabling behavior...

When I say he's talking to me about food, it's more like asking me if I've ever had....such and such. When I say no, he says, "Oh, it's so good."
Have you ever had Watergate Salad from Millers? No. Oh, it's so good.
Have you ever tried the bread pudding at Nells? No. Oh, it's so good.
I finally had to walk away from him in the store just to stop hearing it!

Then when we got home, he asked if he could pour me a soda and I told him that I've just been drinking water. He made a groan (which of course I perceive as he doesn't approve of my healthy choice. I'm surprised he didn't follow his groan with "C'mon, Sue. You can't live like that.")

Interestingly enough, after lunch, after the barrage of food talk that I had just endured, I decide to tell him about a bakery in Hanover that I discovered that has "healthier" choices (if there can be such a thing in a bakery.) His comment to me? "Oh, no. I can't have that." Pardon my french, but...WTF!

I know that part of my weight loss journey involves confronting my father about his perceptions of me being just like him. Or rather, telling him how much it bothers me when he says I'm just like him. But would that insult him? ABSOLUTELY. The thing is, I ASPIRE to be like my father in so many other ways. There's not a man on the planet whom I look up to more than my father. He's my hero. But can your hero also stand in your way??

Did I mention that since that day I gained 5 pounds? Enough said.

I spent yesterday planning, planning, planning. Overusing internet trackers to compare data. And I was down 2 pounds today! I knew I would be..simply for the fact that I drank my water yesterday, exercise, and tracked my food. For me, those are the three key things. Spark People posted a challenge yesterday to give a 6-word summary of success. Those would be my 6-words:
drink water, exercise, and track calories

This morning, I began my day shoveling the 5 inches of snow that came down last night. I CHOSE to shovel despite the fact that my husband has a snow blower. (He thought I was crazy, but he knows me well enough by now to just go with it.) I was looking for an alternative workout that would work my muscles instead of being strictly cardio. So I set a goal for myself to shovel for an hour, and it definitely paid off! Mid 400s calorie burn, an hour of exercise, and I was finished by 6:45 am! Woo Hoo!

Insider fact #1: If I don't get my main workout finished in the morning, I never do it. So it feels so good to be back on track and have two consecutive days of exercise under my belt!

Insider fact #2: This entry was supposed to be just a copy/paste of the article below. But I've spent the last hour typing.

I found this quick snippet on the Weight Watcher's email about gaining weight. It gave me a really good perspective on gaining weight, so I wanted to share.

"Gaining weight is part of the journey, and just like any journey, it doesn’t necessarily follow a linear path from point A to point B. Sometimes you have to stop for gas, sometimes you get off at the wrong exit and need to loop back in order to get back on the road. Your goal is not to go straight through the process without gaining a pound, but rather to aim to lose the majority of the time. Do realize your body might not let go of weight on your schedule. Research proves weight loss is an intricate combination of many factors. So forget about gauging your progress from week-to-week and look at one-month snapshots instead. This simple change in perspective will prevent you from becoming discouraged. or worse, giving up. Stop, take a deep breath, and stay the course."

Stay the course, my friends.

Reflections...

So, I joined Weight Watchers. Again. Mostly because I felt like I needed a program, but also because I was excited about their new system. My sister-in-law, her friend Miss Pat, and my sister are joining me in this quest to eat better and lose weight.

And the results so far have been less than stellar.

Basically I'm finding that I'm questioning and feeling resistant to this new points system. Yes, I know that our daily allowance was increased and our weekly points were increased as well. Both very good things! However, I am finding that my food choices use up my points SO QUICKLY! I've been over my points every single day...Thank God I've been exercising so make up for my overage.

So here is a list of things that are hovering in the back of my mind about this new program...
1. I am approaching Weight Watchers with a "Clean Eating" mentality, and it seems like a lot of the choices that I am making are high in points. I know that these foods are good for me, but somehow I'm not feeling any advantage (points wise)to choosing whole foods over processed.
2. I HATE that traditional Weight Watchers staples have gone up in points. It's messing with my belief system!
3. As my sister-in-law told me, on this new program, we are penalized for carbs. Should I be eating less carbs? Yep. However, the carbs that I am eating are whole grains, but they are still carrying a lot of points values. Again, no advantage to eating whole vs. refined.
4. This new program does not count calories-it looks at the nutrients that make up the foods (fat, carbs, protein, and fiber). I am interested in tracking calories along with these nutrients to see how many calories I am actually consuming.
5. I am finding that the harder I exercise to earn activity points, the hungrier I am! It's almost like I am sabotaging myself and my weight loss. And this is something that I most definitely DO NOT want to do!
6. Did I mention that I am eating WAY too many points every single day?
7. I need to eat more vegetables. I was talking about this with Mimi, and mentioned that I needed to eat more salads. She made a comment that she's not going to make salads..just eat more vegetables. So last Saturday when I went to the store, I bought everything I needed to have salad fixings at home. I prepped everything...and there they sit in the fridge. I packed a salad twice for work, and didn't have any interest in eating it. I do, however, love these new vegetable salsas that I've been making, so I thought, maybe Mimi's onto something here. It doesn't matter what form my vegetables take...as long as I am eating vegetables!
8. To piggyback on #7, I enjoy salads prepped at restaurants SO MUCH BETTER than salads prepped in my own kitchen.
9. I started out texting Laura and Mimi my daily points and activity points for the first week. I lost almost 4 pounds the first week! Then I stopped texting and only maintained the next week. I haven't texted them since that first week, and I really fear that my number will again be the same on the scale tomorrow morning. I'm thinking that maybe I Need to go to the support meetings, because having someone "see" how I am doing is very motivating for me.
10. I do feel better about my body. It's only been three weeks, but I feel really good! Some days my pants feel very loose! The scale numbers may not be moving, but I'm praying that if I stick with it, I will see the scale start to go down.
11. I eat entirely too many points every day. (I didn't want to forget to mention that.)
12. I do love to track my eating...except when I don't. Sometimes I find myself omitting things that I've eaten or manipulating the amount of the food that I've eaten. Yea, definitely not the thing to do when I'm trying to lose weight. Maybe I should note how many days I'm "cheating" on this program so I can stop this insanity. I mean, Who am I kidding? It's not like those calories don't count if I don't enter them! (Although, sadly, I think part of me believes that.)
13. I want to be thinner. I want to fit into my summer clothes from two years ago. I want to be healthy and fit. I want to exercise everyday. I want to eat more fruits and vegetables. I want to eat less processed food. I want to fix my poor eating habits. I want to be a good role model for my son.
14. I have about a dozen chocolate topped cookies sitting in my freezer since this program began three weeks ago. I've thought about them many times...I've even opened the freezer once to get them. But I haven't touched them. I can't bring myself to throw them away, but I haven't touched them yet. That makes me proud of myself. And I'm hoping that before I reach for them again, I'll work up the courage to throw them away. And I think I need to explore what's making me hang onto them in the first place!
15. I have not had a soda for 18 days. I only drink water, orange juice, and coffee.
I have felt tempted to drink soda two times, but I've reached for water both times. I can't say I can really tell a difference from cutting out soda, which is disappointing, but I know it's not healthy, so I'm just going to hang on for dear life and see where that takes me.
16. I still reach for sweets over veggies. Daily.
17. In the three weeks since I've started, I've walked/run so many miles on my treadmill. In the first week alone, I tracked over 26 miles! That's like running a marathon! That really struck me, so I've added a tracker to my blog to track my mileage on the treadmill to see how far it takes me!
18. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I signed up for 3 months of Weight Watchers and I am determined to figure out the right combination of eating and exercise for myself.
19. I want to start swimming again, but Will is working so much overtime at work, that I'm not sure when I could fit it in.
20. I am finding that it takes so much mindful planning to be successful on a plan like this. If I don't plan my meals and track after I've eaten, then I find that I've underestimated how much I've consumed and suddenly my points for the day are gone! Last weekend, I spent a lot of time searching for recipes that are Weight Watchers friendly and I made a few really delicious meals! (Weight Watchers beef barbeque, shredded barbeque chicken, pot roast with veggies, roasted red potatoes...all very yummy. I haven't eaten any as leftovers...another habit that I need to work on.)

I've started reading Jillian Michael's Master Your Metabolism again. I'll leave you with one of the quotes that really spoke to me in the first chapter...

"We have to wake up and realize that every bite we take and every lifestyle choice we make matters. Not just for calories or fat or carbs, but because those bites or choices tell our bodies how to react. With bite after bite, sip after sip, breath after breath-when we pick the wrong foods or surround ourselves with toxic chemicals, each moment of consumption tells our hormones to do things that, consciously, we would never want them to do."

New Year's Resolutions

Shared from Heavenly Homemakers blog: This pretty much sums up my new year's resolutions...specifically the first three items. And hopefully by following the first three tips, I can meet another resolution that I have every year: Lose 20 pounds and keep it off. First and foremost, I need to follow tip #2 and cut out diet soda!! There is nothing about diet soda that is good for me! Why can't I get that through my thick skull!

In addition to these five, I really REALLY need to improve the nutrition that I provide for my son and myself. I am being negligent and my son is suffering because of it. No wonder he's sick all of the time...it's totally my fault!! And I'm feeling such deep regret about it. But I can improve and I will improve...for my son's sake!

I also bought my own copy of Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels, a MUST-READ in my opinion. I'll reread that this year and try to adhere to advice more soundly.

So here's the blogger's post that I wanted to share...Enjoy!

Five Simple Ways to Live a Natural Lifestyle
By Laura · Jan,04 2011

What does it look like to live a “Natural Lifestyle”?

There are all kinds of different definitions for the word “natural”. Many foods are labeled “natural” in an attempt to appeal to the conscientious consumer. Corn growers pay for advertisements that say that High Fructose Corn Syrup is “natural”. Well, sure it is…in a loose sense of the word I suppose, but that doesn’t make it good for us. Shucks…arsenic is natural.

My own definition of living a ”Natural Lifestyle” I suppose would be “getting back to the basics”. Whether we’re talking about food, family choices, in general taking care of ourselves…doesn’t it just sound refreshing to “get back to the basics”?

Here are five simple ways I’d like to suggest to live a more Natural Lifestyle:

1. Eat Real Food

Yes, you’re so surprised I listed this one aren’t you? Real food is best. Food in it’s natural form. Food that isn’t processed. Food that tastes so stinkin’ good you don’t know what to do with yourself!!! It’s amazing what food without chemicals tastes like!

2. Drink Water

I already wrote about how you should drink more water and told you about some healthy alternatives to soda and other not-so-good-for-you beverages. But really…one of the simplest (and cheapest!) ways for you to adopt a more natural lifestyle is to stop filling your body with icky beverages and just drink water.

3. Exercise

Yeah, and this advice is coming from me…the girl who doesn’t really like to exercise. Guess what though?! My husband and I have made it a point to exercise together three days a week for the past few weeks and I’m actually starting to like it! I’ve heard people say that once you start exercising regularly, you begin to crave it. I never believed them. Until now.

It’s really not as hard as you think, but exercising is just like anything else you need to be doing…YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO IT. I know, profound. The main idea is this: Do what you can to not be sedentary.

A side benefit of exercising: You’ll crave more water and more real foods. Yeah, somehow having a candy bar and soda after exercising feels a little silly. Water and fruit sounds much better.

4. Stay Home More

This may seem like a weird item for our Natural Lifestyle list…but it doesn’t get much simpler or more natural than this. Stay home more. You’ll save money, your vehicles will last longer…and joy of joys…you may not be so worn out all the time! I find that when I’m running from here to there and back again…I am completely exhausted AND behind on all the work I need to do at home. We don’t need THAT much outside “stuff”. When you’re home more…you’ll find you’ll be more rested and more relaxed…naturally.

5. Waste Less

The more natural your lifestyle, the less waste you’ll have. If you make your food from scratch, you’ll have a lot less packaging trash. If you serve smaller portions and make it a point to eat leftovers, you’ll throw away less food. If you don’t buy stuff you don’t need, you’ll waste a LOT less money. If you use cloth napkins and let your kids draw on used scratch paper, you’ll save a lot of trees. None of these things are hard. You just have to be a bit more intentional.

And then of course there are all kinds of other things I’d recommend as you work your way to a more Natural Lifestyle, like planting a garden, buying locally grown produce and other foods, getting good sleep and eating lots of chocolate.

Just kidding. Chocolate may be natural, but eating lots of it would be “The Simplest way to Gain Five Pounds”. That‘s another post for another day.