I've been spending the past couple of days watching the latest season of The Biggest Loser, and I must admit, I LOVE the contestants! So far there are only two who have gotten on my nerves...ok 3 (Dan, Don, and Arthur) but I just love the personalities and commitment of soooo many others! I've watched 4 episodes so far and will catch up on more today.
One of the best scenes (that really hit home for me) involved Jennifer from the green team talking with Jillian about how her weight loss journey had been so closely tied to her father. Jillian asked her, "How would it feel if you lost all of your weight and your father didn't." Jennifer said, "I would feel like I let him down!" Jillian pointed right in her face and and stated, "And THAT'S why you're not losing weight." Tears come to my eyes as I'm typing this now, because I can completely relate. I DO believe that my weight struggles are closely connected with my father.
My father is obese. My father has struggled with weight for most of his life, particularly in the last decade. Many of my bad eating habits were learned from my father. Finding comfort and enjoyment from food was learned from my father.
Even when I lose weight, my father will see me eating a dessert and say things to me like, "Oooooo, You're just like me! You can't resist. You've got the Burkhouse gene in you." Or if he sees me making good choices, he'll say things like "C'mon, Sue. You've gotta eat more than that!"
When he says these things to me, it reaffirms my beliefs about myself and it goes right to my heart. I FEEL COMPLETELY BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
He would NEVER say something like this to my sister or brother. Aside from never having struggled with weight, my brother wouldn't care and my sister would put him in his place. (I love her for that.) I am the one he identifies with in this particular area. He's always found a "friend" in me for being the one who will have dessert with him.
Just the other week, Willie and I spent some time with my mom and dad. Our time together lapsed into lunchtime. Now, Dad is having a lot of health problems and desperately needs to lose weight. But the only one who's desperate about it is my mother. So Mom and Dad were suggesting a lot of restaurants in the area where I did NOT want to eat. I had been on a really good path and was at my lowest weight in a long time (164 pounds). So I suggested that we stop and pick up some turkey so we could go back to their house to make sandwiches.
The entire drive to the store and the entire time in the store, my father is talking to me about all of these foods he's been eating and how good they taste. (And these are things that he should NOT be eating.) I was getting so pissed off, because I felt again like the "friend" with whom he was sharing all of his food secrets. I am the one whom he knows can relate to this kind of pleasure. But I didn't say anything to him, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel alone. Classic Sue.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following public service announcement:
Definition of an Enabler (i.e. Me): An enabler in most definitions is a person who through his or her actions allows someone else to continue destructive behavior. Though the enabler may be acting out of love and trying to help or protect a person, he or she is actually making a chronic problem worse.
So back to more of my enabling behavior...
When I say he's talking to me about food, it's more like asking me if I've ever had....such and such. When I say no, he says, "Oh, it's so good."
Have you ever had Watergate Salad from Millers? No. Oh, it's so good.
Have you ever tried the bread pudding at Nells? No. Oh, it's so good.
I finally had to walk away from him in the store just to stop hearing it!
Then when we got home, he asked if he could pour me a soda and I told him that I've just been drinking water. He made a groan (which of course I perceive as he doesn't approve of my healthy choice. I'm surprised he didn't follow his groan with "C'mon, Sue. You can't live like that.")
Interestingly enough, after lunch, after the barrage of food talk that I had just endured, I decide to tell him about a bakery in Hanover that I discovered that has "healthier" choices (if there can be such a thing in a bakery.) His comment to me? "Oh, no. I can't have that." Pardon my french, but...WTF!
I know that part of my weight loss journey involves confronting my father about his perceptions of me being just like him. Or rather, telling him how much it bothers me when he says I'm just like him. But would that insult him? ABSOLUTELY. The thing is, I ASPIRE to be like my father in so many other ways. There's not a man on the planet whom I look up to more than my father. He's my hero. But can your hero also stand in your way??
Did I mention that since that day I gained 5 pounds? Enough said.
I spent yesterday planning, planning, planning. Overusing internet trackers to compare data. And I was down 2 pounds today! I knew I would be..simply for the fact that I drank my water yesterday, exercise, and tracked my food. For me, those are the three key things. Spark People posted a challenge yesterday to give a 6-word summary of success. Those would be my 6-words:
drink water, exercise, and track calories
This morning, I began my day shoveling the 5 inches of snow that came down last night. I CHOSE to shovel despite the fact that my husband has a snow blower. (He thought I was crazy, but he knows me well enough by now to just go with it.) I was looking for an alternative workout that would work my muscles instead of being strictly cardio. So I set a goal for myself to shovel for an hour, and it definitely paid off! Mid 400s calorie burn, an hour of exercise, and I was finished by 6:45 am! Woo Hoo!
Insider fact #1: If I don't get my main workout finished in the morning, I never do it. So it feels so good to be back on track and have two consecutive days of exercise under my belt!
Insider fact #2: This entry was supposed to be just a copy/paste of the article below. But I've spent the last hour typing.
I found this quick snippet on the Weight Watcher's email about gaining weight. It gave me a really good perspective on gaining weight, so I wanted to share.
"Gaining weight is part of the journey, and just like any journey, it doesn’t necessarily follow a linear path from point A to point B. Sometimes you have to stop for gas, sometimes you get off at the wrong exit and need to loop back in order to get back on the road. Your goal is not to go straight through the process without gaining a pound, but rather to aim to lose the majority of the time. Do realize your body might not let go of weight on your schedule. Research proves weight loss is an intricate combination of many factors. So forget about gauging your progress from week-to-week and look at one-month snapshots instead. This simple change in perspective will prevent you from becoming discouraged. or worse, giving up. Stop, take a deep breath, and stay the course."
Stay the course, my friends.
One of the best scenes (that really hit home for me) involved Jennifer from the green team talking with Jillian about how her weight loss journey had been so closely tied to her father. Jillian asked her, "How would it feel if you lost all of your weight and your father didn't." Jennifer said, "I would feel like I let him down!" Jillian pointed right in her face and and stated, "And THAT'S why you're not losing weight." Tears come to my eyes as I'm typing this now, because I can completely relate. I DO believe that my weight struggles are closely connected with my father.
My father is obese. My father has struggled with weight for most of his life, particularly in the last decade. Many of my bad eating habits were learned from my father. Finding comfort and enjoyment from food was learned from my father.
Even when I lose weight, my father will see me eating a dessert and say things to me like, "Oooooo, You're just like me! You can't resist. You've got the Burkhouse gene in you." Or if he sees me making good choices, he'll say things like "C'mon, Sue. You've gotta eat more than that!"
When he says these things to me, it reaffirms my beliefs about myself and it goes right to my heart. I FEEL COMPLETELY BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
He would NEVER say something like this to my sister or brother. Aside from never having struggled with weight, my brother wouldn't care and my sister would put him in his place. (I love her for that.) I am the one he identifies with in this particular area. He's always found a "friend" in me for being the one who will have dessert with him.
Just the other week, Willie and I spent some time with my mom and dad. Our time together lapsed into lunchtime. Now, Dad is having a lot of health problems and desperately needs to lose weight. But the only one who's desperate about it is my mother. So Mom and Dad were suggesting a lot of restaurants in the area where I did NOT want to eat. I had been on a really good path and was at my lowest weight in a long time (164 pounds). So I suggested that we stop and pick up some turkey so we could go back to their house to make sandwiches.
The entire drive to the store and the entire time in the store, my father is talking to me about all of these foods he's been eating and how good they taste. (And these are things that he should NOT be eating.) I was getting so pissed off, because I felt again like the "friend" with whom he was sharing all of his food secrets. I am the one whom he knows can relate to this kind of pleasure. But I didn't say anything to him, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel alone. Classic Sue.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following public service announcement:
Definition of an Enabler (i.e. Me): An enabler in most definitions is a person who through his or her actions allows someone else to continue destructive behavior. Though the enabler may be acting out of love and trying to help or protect a person, he or she is actually making a chronic problem worse.
So back to more of my enabling behavior...
When I say he's talking to me about food, it's more like asking me if I've ever had....such and such. When I say no, he says, "Oh, it's so good."
Have you ever had Watergate Salad from Millers? No. Oh, it's so good.
Have you ever tried the bread pudding at Nells? No. Oh, it's so good.
I finally had to walk away from him in the store just to stop hearing it!
Then when we got home, he asked if he could pour me a soda and I told him that I've just been drinking water. He made a groan (which of course I perceive as he doesn't approve of my healthy choice. I'm surprised he didn't follow his groan with "C'mon, Sue. You can't live like that.")
Interestingly enough, after lunch, after the barrage of food talk that I had just endured, I decide to tell him about a bakery in Hanover that I discovered that has "healthier" choices (if there can be such a thing in a bakery.) His comment to me? "Oh, no. I can't have that." Pardon my french, but...WTF!
I know that part of my weight loss journey involves confronting my father about his perceptions of me being just like him. Or rather, telling him how much it bothers me when he says I'm just like him. But would that insult him? ABSOLUTELY. The thing is, I ASPIRE to be like my father in so many other ways. There's not a man on the planet whom I look up to more than my father. He's my hero. But can your hero also stand in your way??
Did I mention that since that day I gained 5 pounds? Enough said.
I spent yesterday planning, planning, planning. Overusing internet trackers to compare data. And I was down 2 pounds today! I knew I would be..simply for the fact that I drank my water yesterday, exercise, and tracked my food. For me, those are the three key things. Spark People posted a challenge yesterday to give a 6-word summary of success. Those would be my 6-words:
drink water, exercise, and track calories
This morning, I began my day shoveling the 5 inches of snow that came down last night. I CHOSE to shovel despite the fact that my husband has a snow blower. (He thought I was crazy, but he knows me well enough by now to just go with it.) I was looking for an alternative workout that would work my muscles instead of being strictly cardio. So I set a goal for myself to shovel for an hour, and it definitely paid off! Mid 400s calorie burn, an hour of exercise, and I was finished by 6:45 am! Woo Hoo!
Insider fact #1: If I don't get my main workout finished in the morning, I never do it. So it feels so good to be back on track and have two consecutive days of exercise under my belt!
Insider fact #2: This entry was supposed to be just a copy/paste of the article below. But I've spent the last hour typing.
I found this quick snippet on the Weight Watcher's email about gaining weight. It gave me a really good perspective on gaining weight, so I wanted to share.
"Gaining weight is part of the journey, and just like any journey, it doesn’t necessarily follow a linear path from point A to point B. Sometimes you have to stop for gas, sometimes you get off at the wrong exit and need to loop back in order to get back on the road. Your goal is not to go straight through the process without gaining a pound, but rather to aim to lose the majority of the time. Do realize your body might not let go of weight on your schedule. Research proves weight loss is an intricate combination of many factors. So forget about gauging your progress from week-to-week and look at one-month snapshots instead. This simple change in perspective will prevent you from becoming discouraged. or worse, giving up. Stop, take a deep breath, and stay the course."
Stay the course, my friends.
